A springtime survey for The Dispatched!

1. What indicators of seasonal change have been most obvious to you this year?
A. The abundance of neon fashions.
B. The birds sing a pretty song, and there is always music in the air!
C. The earth has reached a point in its orbit such that our hemisphere is growing closer to the giant ball of flaming gas in the middle of our solar system.

2. Now that winter is ending, what are you most looking forward to?
A. The bars and restaurants all opening their patios so you can breath the wonderful fragrances of car exhaust and dog excrement.
B. Stumbling home intoxicated without risking frostbite.
C. Drinking myself into oblivion on the front porch, rather than the living room couch.
D. The spike in the murder rate.

3. Are you twitterpated?
A. Yes, like a forest creature in a disney flick.
B. I wouldn't exactly say "twitterpated" more like: "down to fuck".
C. I weep with a nascent longing for the intimate caress of my as yet unfound soul mate.
D. The urge has spread from my crotch to my entire body. My skin crawls with desire. I am on fire and cannot keep my hands off myself. I positively NEED to get laid. Hard.
E. No. I am divorced from all natural rythems and feelings by my life in this cold mechanistic capitalist hell.

4. Which of the following not-so-famous quotes most resonates with your experience of springtime?
A. "if our lives lack brimstone, ie a constant magic, it is because we choose to observe our acts and lose ourselves in considerations of their imagined form instead of being impelled by their force." Antonin Artaud.
B. "Brothers and sisters, hope still waits in the wings like a bitter spinster, impatient, lonely and shivering. Waiting to build her glorious fires." The Silver Mountain Zion.
C. "spring is nature's way of saying 'Let's Party!'" - #1 hit on printrest.

5. Spring is a time for growth, rebirth and blossoming. A time to be loose with your finances and nourish the dreams of others. How badly do you want to see me, Rodney Block realize my full potential as an absurdist street theatre performer?
A. $1-5
B. $5-20
C. $20-"my life for you!"