Dear God no! Not another episode of The Haters!

This week (or whatever) we're going to talk about the dumbest eye candy movies we've seen for a long time: Crimson Peak. Venture capitalists beware, morbid incestuous twins want to sell you bloody clay and kill your babies!


0-:48 Horseplay


:48-7:50 Interview with a Hater

-1:55 Q1, Does the guy get the girl?

-2:54 Demonstration of how not to crawl up on Firehawk while necking: https://lovelace-media.imgix.net/uploads/141/e11e3340-dbcd-0132-cecf-0e01949ad350.gif

-4:06 Q2, What are the ghosts a metaphor for?
-4:30 Ben HATES this director

-5:00 that's some fancy pronunciation, Firehawk

-5:02 Q3, how much was the director influenced by Woody Allen?
-5:37 Do incestuous handjobs count as “queer”?
-5:59 Q4, what percent of overlap will this film have with your vision of anarchist utopia?

-7:14 counter-opinion by Kelsea Stahler who thinks the sex in this movie is the opposite of creepy (btw she fails to include the fact that dude is a lying serial killer, and that his hesitation is a result of the fact that dude's other lover will stab him in the face if she finds out he's messing around, in other words: Del Toro punishes his female lead for having sexual agency) http://www.bustle.com/articles/117413-tom-hiddlestons-crimson-peak-sex-scene-is-ruled-by-mia-wasikowska-thats-a-big-deal

-7:30 just in it for the GIFs: https://38.media.tumblr.com/217ec19dfb08ff619ea43587e6620a22/tumblr_mj6o9vNMFH1qcga5ro1_500.gif


8:10-25:05 High Speed Rant Hate
-8:57 Firehawk, unsatisfied by Tom Hiddleston's backside

-9:26 Ben hates this director

-10:07 horror movie how-tos with Ben

-10:48 the full extent of your relationship with this film is “huh, that looks pretty cool.”

-11:28 First rant against heavy hands, everything is seeping blood red ooze!

-12:13 the entire plot of this movie is driven by nonsense

-13:10 “the original haunting, you know, with Rif from West Side Story”

-13:39 Second rant against heavy hands, way to build the reveal, dude

-14:44 Did we mention that Ben hates this director?

-15:18 Third rant against heavy hands, the most face stabbing this side of The Walking Dead

-15:32 Guess what? Ben hates this director.

-15:55 Firehawk's valiant effort to entertain herself by imposing anti-capitalist themes unto this banal piece of shit: fails.

-18:49 “Incestuous sibling duo is a strange metaphor for transnational capitalism”

-19:14 Lets talk about gender and masculinity...

-19:47 exploring the mind control / accountability avoiding power of handjobs

-20:29 an audition for Real Housewives of Victorian England

-21:51 Firehawk, apologetic to her friends who enjoyed this film

-23:08 Does Ben hate this director? Yep!

-23:35 Dear God no! We're going to ruin anarchy for everyone!

-24:17 Is it ever a good idea to hang your hopes on the Krampus?

-24:32 Firehawk, too disappointed for ratings.

-25:05 Ben, premature on the finish, makes things awkward.


25:05-26:22 Goofy voices instead of ratings!